Another day in the trenches

Today is my birthday. I am 75 years old. When you become older, birthday's are not as important as when you are young.

It has not been an easy 12 days since I started the high does chemotherapy. The four days have been pretty rough. The chemotherapy cytoxan has been particularily rough on my stomach. As upsetting as it sounds, for the last four days I have been dealing with constant diarrhea. It's not fun.

I have found that the will to live is greater than the will not to live. In all of my years of living with this disease, I very rarely gave up hope. I believe that this is one of the reasons I am still alive. A few days ago, I felt so sick that I thought I may not make it, ultimately the will to live suppressed any negative thoughts I had. The will to live would never leave my mind.

I am so happy that I am able to share my feelings with my dearest family and friends. I have especially enjoyed reading and hearing about your comments and well wishes. I look forward to spending a lot of time updating my blog and speaking with each of you.

maurice.

good luck, dad.

the support system

I am in the hopsital with my blood counts pretty low. This is normal and can be expected. The doctors have told us that in the coming days we can expect to see the counts rise.

As I lie here in my bed dealing with my various ailments, I think about the terrific support system I have. My family is by my side almost around the clock. it has been this way since I was forst diagnosed with NHL. No one can realize how much this helps me get through these difficult times.

maurice

good luck dad, Alan

The counts have hit bottom

I just spoke with Maurice and he sounds great. You wouldn't know it but his white counts are zero, his hemoglobin is 6.2 (normal is 14), his platelets are less than 50k (normal is 250k), etc, etc. He was told that he needs to stay in the hospital for the rest of the week because with his bone marrow severely comprimised, he is at risk for a number of problems.

With all of this going on, he sounds energized and looking forward to working on his blog.

His 75th birthday is coming up this Sunday, so we hope he will be out of the hospital.

Good luck dad

First step is fine

Well maurice has endured the first stage of high does chemotherapy reasonably well. I little a-fib, anemia and other assorted ailments has weakened him a bit, but he is going back to the Jewish Home tomorrow.

The next shoe has started to drop and we can expect things to worsen later this week. On Thursday he will undergo a chemo treatment directly injected into his spinal cord. Ouch!! Later this week, his blood counts will be severely comprimised. This of course is expected, however, when the white counts are very low he is suseptible to infection. In the past he has handled this step rather well, so we are confidant he can get through this diificult period once again.

Maurice continues to be an inspiration for everyone he comes in contact with. When I ask him how he is doing, he responds by asking me "how am I doing?" or "how is the family doing?". He continues to inspire his hospital roomates.

Good luck dad.

High dose chemo

This is Alan.

Tomorrow, our dad is going into the hospital to begin the third round of chemotherapy. As always his attitude is incredible. I am sure he has the jitters, but he views this step as a key step on his way to recovering from the lymphoma. His strength in the face of difficult times is truly an inspiration to all of us.

The last time he took the high dose chemo in May 2003 he lost the use of his kidney's. The good news is that he can't lose them twice. I am confidant he can get through this next stage of his treatment.

Good luck dad.

The start

As i stated before, my name is Maurice Levy and I reside in Fort Lee NJ. I am 74 years of age and I have had fortunate and unfortunate things happen to me. For the first 70 years of my life , I was perfectly healthy, never sick a day in my life. I always participated in all sports activities.

In 2001, my health was progessively getting worse. I lost a lot of weight. I frequently had nightsweats. In December 2001, I was diagnosed with non-hdgkins lymphoma. Obviously, this was quite a shock to me an my family. I knew of no other members of my family that had NHL or any other form of cancer. I immediately underwent chemotherapy which included a drug called Rituxan and CHOP. I will talk more about Rituxan in a later blog, because as far as I am concerned, Rituxan is a miracle drug.

I responded quite well to the meds and went into complete remission. It was clear at that time, that fortunately I was very responsive to all drugs, a attribute which would help me throughout my illness.

In May 2003, I experienced terrible pains in my pelvis and once again diagnosed with NHL. This time my bone marrow was comprimised with the disease. I was targeted for a bone marrow transplant but unfortunately I was unalbe to complete the therapy. Although my cancer was once again in remission, the toxicity of the chemo caused me to lose all kidney function. I lost the use of both kidney's and to this day, I need dialysis three times a week to remain alive.

It has been alomst three years since the second relpase of the disease.

This past winter I had been thinking about a kidney transplant. I was told by the doctors, that I needed to be cancer free for 3 years before I could be eligible for a kidney. My sister, in fact offered me one of her kidney's and I can't tell you how exited I was about the possibilty of living a normal, dialysis free, life once again.

While in Florida this past winter, my health began to deteroriate. I had trouble walking, breathing, my arm became very swollen and had sharp lower back pain.

Remarkably the cancer came back for a third time. The chances for a kidney transplant now gone, all that is left is to deal with the Lymphoma, which has spread throughout my chest, abdomen, brain and spinal cord.

You can either fight or give up and those who know me, understand that giving up was and is NEVER an option.

In a little more than a month, I have already undergone two oral chemo regimens and will begin the third and the highest dose next week. My brain lymphoma has shrunk by more than half. The lymphoma in my chest and throughout my body has reduced considerably. I feel good and ready to take the next step.

the inspirational visit

My name is Alan Levy. My father, Maurice asked me to create this blog because he has a lot to say. When he gets home from the hospital and the rehab facility he is staying at, he will personally post to his blog. For now, while he has no access to a computer, I will post for him. The words which will appear on this blog are his and his only. If my dad is unable to post, than I will post on his behalf.

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Why am I creating this blog?

Why is it called "the inspirational visit"?

I would like to tell my experiences through the last four years of my life. I want to create a blog to inspire others who have cancer. I also want to let my friends and family know how I am doing. I am blessed with so many friends and family who have helped me get through these difficult times. By creating this blog, not only can I stay in touch with my friends and family, but I look forward to making many new friends.

I feel I can help others who need support from someone with vast experience in dealing with a terriblel disease. I am now on my third trip with cancer and if there is anything I know a lot about , is how to get through this experience. I am hopeful I can help others who either have cancer, had cancer or family members of cancer survivors.

The following is my inspirational message.