Eulogy

My family and I would like to thank each of you for coming here today to pay your respects to a truly wonderful and special man.

As our father struggled with non hodgkins lymphoma, so many of you have followed Maurice’s condition and our families ups and downs for close to 5 years. To each of you, we truly appreciate your support and caring over the years.

Words cannot describe the character and strength of Maurice. On Tuesday of last week, my father was told by his doctors and his family that his body could not tolerate further treaments. There was nothing else they could do. Not only was he told he was going to die, he was told that if he decided to suspend the use of dialysis, that he would pass within a week.

My father looked at the doctor and simply shook his head and said, “I understand”. He never shed a tear, never asked “why”, but simply accepted the news as bravely as any person could. This is not a 90 year old man who was told to go home and rest. This was a 75 year old man, who spent the last five years of his life battling a disease which statistics show should have killed him 4 ½ years ago. A young man certainly by today’s standards.

Maurice Levy was born in April 1931 in Wiliamsburg, Brooklyn. He was born to Louis and Bessy Levy and had a sister Elenor, who is with us here today.

Rather than getting drafted into the Korean War in the 50’s, my father and many of his friends, enlisted in the navy. While it would be glamorous to say that his tour of duty included Asia and the Pacific basin, his tour of duty was the Mediterranean Sea. Who wants to be in Seoul for the weekend when you can be in Rome? Nevertherless, he spent 4 years in the navy and was always proud to have served his country.

Near the end of his tour, he would stumple upon a person who would change his life. My mom was the best thing that ever happended to my dad. Her exuberant personality perfectly matched my dad’s more subdued demeanor. They were married just shy of 50 years and were the happiest couple I would ever see. My parents provided my sister and I with a wonderful, happy childhood.

My dad, worked multiple jobs, until he landed in the dry cleaning business, partnering with my moms brother Randy. He spent close to 30 years owning and operating this business, a business which would provide the resources necessary to provide nicely for our family, my college studies and his retirement.

Of course he never liked handling other peoples dirty clothes, but he knew that by doing so, he coud provide a good lifestyle for his family. He never complained, never wavered and never wondered “what if”.

In the mid 90’s when the business suffered and had to be closed down, I asked him to work for me in the telecom business. He never once picked up a computer or understood the telecom business, but he asked me a simple question. Do you mean to tell me that you sell a service which is 50% cheaper than ATT and changing the service is transparent to the customer? He said, if I could convince someone to wash and box their shirts than I can convince them to sign up for the service. In a few years, he became one of our top sales people.

Maurice had a loving sister Elenor and brother in law Alan. He also had a loving brother in law, Randy and sister in law Shelly.

Maurice had 7 neices and nephews. He loved each and every one of you so much and truly appreciated your love and caring, particularily over these past few years.

He was blessed to have a terrific son in law Joe and daughter in law, Jane. He loved you both very much. He told Joe the other day that his marrying of my sister is one of the most joyful events in his life. He loved Jane and told me many times, that without question, she is the very best thing that ever happended to me. I always agreed with him.

He was survived by three loving grandchildren Neil, Rachel and Hanna. Each of you knew grandpa as a loving grandfather who thoroughly enjoyed hearing about your accomplishments as well as your challenges, understanding full well, that it’s your troubles and challenges in life which will teach you the most.

Neil, you are the oldest and first grandchild. He loved to speak with you about everything and anything. As far as he was concerned you can do no wrong. You and he talked about the Met’s, the Giants, your tennis or anything that came to mind. You had a great relationship with grandpa and I am know his spirit will be forever imprinted in your mind and your heart.

Rachel and Hanna, you to could do no wrong in grandpa’s eyes. He loved you both very much and was so excited to see you grow up so elegantly and beautifly. His words to describe each of you were amazing, smart, sweet, beautiful, and special. I share the same feelings.

Although my dad ultimately died of Lymphoma, it was his need for dialysis three times a week which truly weakenend him. This past winter, prior to the diagnosis of the relapse of the disease, my aunt Eleanor, my father’s sister, graciously offered to give my dad one of her kidney’s. My father was so excited about the possibility of living a normal life once again. Eleanor, my dad knew in his heart that you offered one of your kidney’s because you would do anything to see him have a normal life.

Beth, you were not only a special daughter, sister and friend to everyone, but you were my dad’s personal Florence Nightingale. While over the years, I spoke with the doctors and did some research on the computer, you devoted your life to seeing that he was comfortable, was given the right medications and treated properly by the doctors and nurses. Many tell me, that I helped keep my father alive. The fact is that we were and are a team and we did this together. It was during the last 4 years, I learned not just how strong and compassionate you are but how smart you are.

Mom, we have all been dealt a bad hand, and dad’s has certainly been the worst.

Dad, told me the other day that he was sure you would be strong and bounce back. I know you feel weakened, and wonder how you can go on, but I can assure that your family is here for you. Everyday, every hour and in everyway.

For me, he was my dad. He was the smartest man I knew, yet he never went to college. He was the strongest and sweetest man I knew. He never, I mean never had a bad word to say about anybody. It wasn’t until he was befallen with this horrible disease did I realize how strong my dad truly was. He was by my side, throughout my life and when I left accounting and went into the telecom business, he was my biggest supporter. My financial and personal success in life was clearly influenced by my father. Dad, you will always be in my heart.

The following message is from my sister, Beth.

There are no words to describe what my father meant to me. We have always been so close, but the last few years we really bonded. As my Dad had to start dialysis, he accepted it and was happy to be able to continue to love his life. To help pass the time in dialysis, sitting there for all those hours, we had our cellphone conversations every single session. We would talk about everything to pass the time. I never once missed a call to him.

I wonder now how will I go on without him and get through this difficult time. I was lucky enough to ask him that question. He once again gave me great advice about what to do. He told me to be happy with Joe and live my life, that I deserved it and that would make him happy. I will follow his path of strength and courage because that's what he would have wanted. I will always be there for my Mom too. I will miss him so much and cherish all the great times we shared.

The following message is from my mom.

As I sit here trying to put my thoughts down in words I realize that Maurice was the letter writer in our family. We had a happy life for 49 years and for that I am very grateful. Maurice showed me the way. He helped me make the right decisions and always helped me to look at the fair and decent way to live my life.

He truly was my soul mate. I will try to live up to his expectations. I will miss his love and devotion to our family for the rest of my life. Rest easy my love, You deserve it. I give thanks to my children and their mates for all their love and support.

Finally, a few months ago , when my dad was stricken with the lymphoma for the third time, we all knew this would be a difficult mountain to climb.

As a way of occupying his mind and providing an outlet for family and friends to keep aware of my father’s condition, I set up a blog or webpage called the inspirationalvisit.blogspot.com. (it’s still can be accessed via the web). He also wanted the blog to inspire others with cancer, to provide hope for those stricken with the disease. It proved to be a wonderful idea, an outlet and distraction he thoroughly enjoyed.

On Wednesday when we met with him, he was comfortable with his decision to stop the dialysis. He lay in front of us and said that we all deserve some peace and quiet. Even upon his demise, he thought about his family. He was truly inspirational.

I conclude this eulogy with a passage from his blog. It’s this passage which shows the character and will of my father, a person we will always love.

I have found that the will to live is greater than the will not to live. In all of my years of living with this disease, I very rarely gave up hope. I believe that this is one of the reasons I am still alive. A few days ago, I felt so sick that I thought I may not make it, ultimately the will to live suppressed any negative thoughts I had. The will to live would never leave my mind.

A flower blossoms

I am pleased that so many of you have seen Maurice in the last few days. He is resting comfortably in a place he is happy to be. The nurses and aides at the Jewish home gave him high fives when he entered the building.

We have read all of the posts and truly appreciate the love and support.

When we were about to leave, Beth showed me a plant that was given to Maurice by Jane's mom Gertrude almost 6 weeks ago. The plant which had no flowers and two long stems was kept in a closest without sunlight and water for while my dad was in the hopsital.

Sure enough today, the plant appeared on the windowsill. We had no idea who dropped it off in the room. Incredibly, after six weeks kept in a storage room, the plant was still alive and budding a new flower.

Rest peacefully. Love, Alan

finally we have some clarity

Later this morning, my mom, sister and I will meet with Maurice and his doctors to talk about my father's condition.

It seems clear that there is nothing further the doctors can do to help dad. Unfortunately, his cancer was just too pervasive and even a hero like my father couldn't withstand this latest challenge.

We are hopeful that dad will agree with us that he should no longer undergo dialysis treatment. He never did like dialysis, no one does. By stopping the treatment, the process will accelerate and we are hopeful that dad will pass peacefully and without pain.

Dad, we wish you nothing but peace and rest. We love you very much.

Some days are down days

This is Alan.

It has been a week since I have updated this blog. I have been waiting for something good to report to everyone, however, it has not been a good week. Since the last update his blood counts did in fact rise, but that's about all that has risen.

Maurice's spirits are a bit down, but we know that this attitude is simply not in his nature. Unfortunatley the high dose chemotherapy and all the medications are taking their toll on his body and mind. If anyone deserves to be down, it's Maurice.

At this point he needs to regain his strength by eating as much as he can. In the past few days he has had very little to eat and even my mom's cabbage couldn't entice him. I can assure you, he's not the first to say "nay" to the cabbage. I never touched the stuff. Anyway, tomorrow Mom is bringing some good food for dad to eat so we are hopeful he will chow down.

I started this blog primarily for two reasons.

First, I knew that my dad would be inspired by how this thing works. In his room for example, there is a flat screen TV which can access the internet. When I visit him, I pull up this site and read him what I have written as well as your comments. He is inspired when he hears your well wishes and reads through his blog.

Secondly, I felt it this blog would be a good way to let his friends and family know how he is doing. I know that everyone who has read the blog or posted comments have been inspired by this process.

Finally, to be honest and open, the difficult times need to share space with the good times. These are in fact difficult times and we are hopeful dad can withstand the issues he is confronting.

We love and admire Maurice more than anyone can imagine Regardless of his current state of mind, we know that he is fighting like hell to get through these times. He will never give up the fight and neither will we.

Good luck dad.

the counts are rising

After a few very difficult days, it seems that Maurice is on the mend. We are not out of the woods here, but were hopeful that in the coming days Maurice will begin to feel better. His white counts will be back to normal by the weekend, his infection is gone and he will begin to strengthen

The doctors treating my father are very good and there's alot of them. Maurice is a quite popular guy in the hospital. On a daily basis he sees a doctor for his heart, his kidney, his cancer, his infections, his surgeon, his lungs, his wounds, his weak physical condition (therapist), his gastro situation,...just to name a few. (count them 9)

We need a scorecard to keep track of their names.

The good news today is that we spoke to each one of the them and they all seemed pleased with Maurice's condition. Everyone's happy and resting a little easier, including Herma.